Finnick's Rope
by Culurien Malinalda
Summary: "A rope?" Finnick asks. "And what am I supposed to do with it? Not hang myself, it's too short." A series of one-shots following the rope Finnick gets for his treatment in Mockingjay. Finnick, Katniss and Peeta's POV. Canon based.
1. Prologue

_Disclaim: I don't owe the Hunger Games_

_A/N A series of one-shots based on scenes from the Mockingjay book. I will follow Finnick's rope and the POV being one the person possessing the rope at that time. Thank you to amg06113 for reading through my work, and a hug thanks to _Defying Expectations_ for wonderful feedback!  
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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

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><p>"A rope?" Finnick asks, holding the thin rope up before his eyes. It's short. Not even half a meter.<p>

"Rightly observed, Mr. Odair." Dr. Aurelius glances at Finnick from the other side of the table.

"And what am I supposed to do with it? Not hang myself – it's too short. If you wanted that, you should have given me a longer one." But maybe that's exactly what was intended, that he should not be able to.

Finnick plays with the rope. It's soft against his hands, not rough like the ones he's used to working with back in District 4. Surely not a hemp rope. He's not actually sure what it's made of. Carefully he lets the rope drift between his fingers, observing its movements as it drops to the table before him.

The last time he held a rope must have been in the Training Center before the Games. He remember Katniss's stiff body and the tension in her neck when he came up behind her to help with the knot she was struggling with. The memory almost brings a smile to his face, but just almost. Maybe he will never smile again. _Oh, stop being so damned melodramatic._

It feels like half a decade ago since that day in the Capitol, but it can't have been more than three or four weeks. But he can't tell exactly. Since arriving District 13, he has lost all sense of time.

He tears his gaze away from the rope, now laying in a coil in front of him, and up to meet Dr. Aurelius steady eyes.

"I heard you are good with knots," Dr. Aurelius says, leaning back in his chair.

"Oh no, it seems like you know my every secret." The sarcasm drips thick in his words, but Dr. Aurelius seems to make a point of not noticing.

"I would suggest using it as part of your treatment," he says matter-of-factly.

"You're saying I'm going to tie knots?" Finnick answers in disbelief.

"Yes, I am."

This new form of treatment Dr. Aurelius have devised sounds meaningless to Finnick. He doesn't see the point of his treatment with Dr. Aurelius. Never had. But as long as he does what he is told, they let him be. And that is exactly what he wants them to do.

After they told him Annie was taken by the Capitol, his world fell apart. He lay in a District 13 hospital bed for a week. They gave him a bracelet that said he was mentally unstable. Like that wasn't obvious.

He didn't move. He didn't eat. He didn't do anything.

It felt like he was drowning in helplessness. He tried desperately to find something to hold on to. The smallest of hopes. The slightest prospect that everything would be fine. Even the tiniest sign that it was all a misunderstanding or a bad dream, that in reality she had been safe all along. But there was nothing to cling to. There was nothing he could do but let the darkness swallow him whole.

Most of the time he slept. Trying to escape the horror of the world around him. But usually, sleeping wasn't any better.

Nightmares haunted him. The children he killed came back, fresh blood pouring from their open wounds. Mutts chased him through the woods; he ran and ran until he was out of breath and he could feel the metallic taste of blood in his mouth.

And he saw Annie. Annie being taken away from him. Peacekeepers surrounding her and grabbing her with violent hands. President Snow forcing her into a waiting car. Annie being swallowed by thick fog; he would stumble around for hours calling her name in vain. Every dream a new one, but the outcome was always the same. She was gone. He fought as if his life depended on it. If he only could reach her… He screamed until his throat was raw.

Usually he woke floundering in the bed. Sheets draped around him, making him fight even harder to get loose. Time after time, when he first awoke, he tried to comfort himself with the thought that it was not real, that Annie was safe – but time after time, as consciousness settled in, he realized that it wasn't a dream at all.

Slowly, Finnick picks up the rope, as if it is a poisonous snake ready to attack him.

Even slower, he ties a simple square knot. He has done it thousands of times; his hands move without him even thinking about what he's doing.

_This is stupid_, he thinks. But at least it's something he can do without thought.

"Okay! Whatever…" His hands have already loosened up the first knot and now start to work on a more advanced knot. His fingers know what to do. Over, under, through the loop and back. Tighten.

He gives the finished knot one approving look before untangling it and starting a new one.

"That will be all, Mr. Odair. You're free to go." Dr. Aurelius watches Finnick go with a bemused expression. Finnick only vaguely registers it while moving towards the door. His hands still work the rope.

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><p><em>AN It's short, but it's just the prologue. I have told myself a thousand times I'm not going to write two stories at the time, but here I am doing exactly that. I'm afraid to say my other story is prioritized if I don't have enough time._

_I will love to hear what you think. I'm used to write in first person, but tried this one in third. Maybe I will change that (at least when I reach Peeta I think I will write in first person). I don't know yet how many scenes I will be writing or how long they will be. Wishes, input, constructive criticism - everything received with thanks!_

_Thank you for reading!_


	2. Chapter 1 - Looking Dazed

_Disclaim: I don't owe the Hunger Games - some of the dialog is taken straight from the book. _

_Thank you so much to Defying Expectations who is giving me fabulous feedback, and to amg06113 for reading it through! And thanks for reviews. It's inspiring. Reviews are always highly appreciated!_

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 – Looking Dazed<strong>

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><p>Finnick stands in the huge room they call the Collective in District 13. Somebody told him to go here, but he can't remember who.<p>

He's dressed only in his hospital robes. He doesn't really care, but he can feel eyes following him. There are people everywhere, and they're staring him down. Curious gazes, stern looks, amused glances. _Have they never seen anyone dressed only in a nightgown?_

Or maybe it's not his outfit at all. Even here in 13, he hears the whispering behind his back. _"It's Finnick Odair!" "Look, is that one of the victors?" "Isn't that the crazy one they rescued from the Games?"_ He can't escape his own reputation. Can't fail to be recognized.

Finnick remembers the first time he was recognized on the street. It was only a couple of days after he won his first Games. He was fourteen and had just been reconstructed, the Capitol hospital removing every injury and scar he incurred in the Arena. Removing every visible trace of those sixteen dreadful days. But the mental scares, he would soon learn, could not so easily be wiped away.

He only had to walk ten meters, from the doors of the Remake Center and into a waiting car. As soon as he left the building, a group consisting of four girls spotted him. They must have been around the same age as himself, maybe a bit older. It took only seconds for them to see who he was, and as one, they stormed towards him, shouting his name.

They would have run him over in excitement had it not been for the group of Peacekeepers blocking their way. For the first time, Finnick was grateful to have Peacekeepers nearby.

The girls had certainly made an impression on him that day, and not in a good way. He wasn't used to have girls screaming his name while throwing themselves at him. Sure, he'd been interested in girls before, watched them at distance, and even kissed one or two, but the hysteric Capitol girls were just scary.

It was only the first glimpse of what was about to come. After that day he couldn't, neither at home in District 4 nor in the Capitol, set foot outside before being recognized.

In the Capitol they hailed him as a hero. Worshiping him almost to the point of sickness. In District 4 the looks were more resigned. He could see a mixture of awe, recognition, but also pure fear.

Maybe he had a vague aspiration that it would be different here in 13. They had lived isolated from the circuses unfolding around the Games. But he guesses now that was too much to ask. He's not sure how they know, but rumors must be flying. Surely everyone in the whole world knows who he is by now.

Finnick takes a new look around the Collective as if he's seeing the room and the people in it for the first time. _What am I doing here?_

His left hand moves to find the rope dangling from his other hand. Quickly he ties a Carrick Bend. It's a well-known knot to him, often used for net making. He doesn't know how many hours in the past he's spent working on making nets or repairing them.

Back in District 4, children often have those sorts of jobs. It's an easy task once you get going, but it's tedious and time-consuming. He used to sit on the beach with his siblings, before the Games, working nets. His two years older sister and five years older brother. Both strong-willed and unfairly attractive, but while his sister was more withdrawn, his brother was always the center of attention. Even Finnick had a hard time outshining his older brother.

On warm summer days they would sit together all afternoon and into the night. The knots and ropes were so familiar that the kids could keep on even after dark. The faint glimmer of the moon gave them just enough light to work with. He can almost feel the cold sand between his toes and the carefree laughter building inside of him at his brother's joke.

It's a happy memory, so he dismisses it.

Someone is nudging him by the arm. "Finnick!"

Finnick look up from the knot he has just finished to see Katniss standing before him. The look on her face tells him it's not the first time she's saying his name.

"How are you doing?" she asks when she seems sure that she has his attention.

"Katniss," he say, grabbing her hand, holding on to it like an anchor. _A familiar face!_

He tries to focus. She asked him a question_. _

_How are you doing?_ That is a tricky one. He has less nightmares, which is good, but most likely that is because he sleeps less than when he tried to escape the world by sleeping constantly. He has taken to sitting up half the night tying knots, so spends his days exhausted and unfocused. But he'd rather be unfocused than attentive to his every misery.

"Why are we meeting here?" he says without answering the difficult question. It seems like she doesn't notice, or at least she doesn't comment.

"I told Coin I'd be her Mockingjay. But I made her promise to give the other tributes immunity if the rebels won. In public, so there are plenty of witnesses," she tells him.

"Oh. Good. Because I worry about that with Annie. That she'll say something that could be considered as traitorous without knowing it." _But I'm even more worried about her being tortured or killed. I'm worried that I'll never see her again_. But he doesn't say the last part aloud. Katniss has already far too much on her mind.

Something flashes across Katniss's face at Finnick's words. He doesn't even bother to try figure out what it could be and she's soon after composed.

"Don't worry, I took care of it," she says, giving his hands a squeeze before hurrying away through the gathering crowd. She's walking towards the podium in front of the room and away from him.

_Was it something I said?_ Finnick thinks.

Katniss hasn't been coping much better than himself after arriving District 13. Finnick can see how the situation with Peeta weighs her down. Why couldn't he realize sooner how much she cares for that boy? Probably because she doesn't know it herself, or doesn't even want to know.

President Snow is using Peeta deliberately to hurt Katniss, even if she herself isn't aver that Snow is doing so. Nevertheless, it torturing her. Just like Snow's grip one Annie is torturing him. The different is that Finnick knows that what is being done to Annie is done to get to him.

It's hurting to think about it this way. He's the only reason Annie is in danger. He's the only reason she's being hurt. Because of him… And he knows it so painfully well. Snow wants him to know. Makes sure that he does. If it were not for Finnick, she could have been safe and sound back in District 4. Now she's a piece in President Snow's games to break him.

_The games never end._

The situation with Annie is driving him crazy. No wait, he already is crazy, and he has his bracelet to confirm it.

But his mind is soon drifting off. His thoughts dance left and right, over and under, just as the rope forms numerous knots in his hands. He jumps when he hear President Coin saying Annie's name, but the name of the girl he loves only adds to his long line of sliding thoughts – under, over, around, cross back.


End file.
